We made the hurricanes. With our carbon emissions.

I got pissed at my malfunctioning computer and asked, “God, why are you doing this to me?” He said, “I didn’t invent computers. That shit’s on you people.” Which is actually a good point. The only thing god’s made lately is AIDS.

© Brock Rizy 2010

I’m disgusting.

“The Art of Drawing Horse Cocks.” “How To Draw Primordial Dwarves and Other Reminiscences.” What’s with these art books? I’m learning to draw dwarves with horse cocks. Take a look.

© Brock Rizy 2010

If I hadn’t been baptized (twice – once Catholic, once Baptist), this strip would surely reserve for me a room in hotel hell. Luckily, once saved always saved.

My desk arrived. Look! It’s “Tardina” Brand! Tardina! That’s what you can name your primordial dwarf!

© Brock Rizy 2010

I’m a bad person.

That’s a primordial dwarf? Now that I’m looking at this, I’m going to have one. Well, I don’t think you can keep them as pets. I meant, my child will be.

© Brock Rizy 2010

I’d wrestle a marlin or chase some broad who is a total tease (lord knows I have), but I’ll never eat a cheeseburger off the floor. The only thing I’d eat off the floor is a milk chocolate Toblerone.

REASON TO DRINK: Ernest Hemingway REASON TO REFRAIN: David Hasselhoff

© Brock Rizy 2010