Is this the catbear’s first masturbation joke? There’s plenty more where that came from.

I don’t masturbate. I give myself a handjob.

© Brock Rizy 2009

That shark is so horny right now.  That thing he’s holding is a telephone.  They used to look like that.

Watcha doin’? I’m just sitting here, watching shark week and touching myself.

© Brock Rizy 2009

Oh, that old excuse.

She said she’s waiting for marriage! Why does god keep cock-blockin’ me?

© Brock Rizy 2009

Heed his words.

You don’t bring a fighting cock to a monkey knife fight.

© Brock Rizy 2009

Based on actual events.

You can’t impregnate a robot. I’m gonna die trying.

© Brock Rizy 2009