Actually, the catbear is into women’s gymnastics.

How the fuck should I know what David Beckham looks like? I told you I’m not into sports. That includes shitty sports.

© Brock Rizy 2010

I’d say she’s a horrible person, but I’m pretty sure she’s not a person. She is, at best, an entity.

Has Kate Gosselin been killed of Dancing With The Stars yet? Who had it worse? 9/11 firefighters or the poor bastard who had to dance with that banshee? There’s no coming back from that kind of trauma.

© Brock Rizy 2010

Catbear likes natural blondes, but sometimes you can’t tell until it’s too late.

You’re willing to admit that Rosanna Arquette was your first jerk? Not Patricia? If I could turn back time, if I could find a way, I’d hold out until ’93 for Alabama in True Romance. Since when do you like blondes?

© Brock Rizy 2010

This … is the one I want them to remember me for.  P.S. She’s still got it.

Maybe I’ll try the Blue Lagoon Diet. Whassat, where you just eat mangoes? Coconuts, fish, and Brooke Shields’ pussy.

© Brock Rizy 2010

Yeah, probably.

What if we had a limited amount of boners bestowed at birth to use up in life? Would I still have used one on that Shakira “She Wolf” video? I don’t know.

© Brock Rizy 2010