Catbear is working his way up to the Sears Tower.

God damn, this is high. I don’t even have pants to shit. Of course you’re not worried, you can turn into a bat.

© Brock Rizy 2010

Will this song be stuck in my head the entire time I live here? It seems likely.

Brother what a night it really was! The night Chicago di- I can’t believe it took you a whole week to think of that song.

© Brock Rizy 2010

Yes, I used a beloved children’s movie’s titular car as alternative slang for crank. Yes, I think Fairuza Balk is hot.

How did this Dick Van Dyke movie marathon turn into a Fairuza Balk movie marathon? We both want to fill her up with our Chitty Bang-Bangs. That’s why, not how.

© Brock Rizy 2010

In actuality, the vampire would, but I really wanted to write “Dracula’s dick.”

I’d fuck Mary Poppins. Really? I wouldn’t stake her with Dracula’s dick!

© Brock Rizy 2010

Verbatim.

If Dick Van Dyke and these two kids can liberate Vulgaria in an afternoon, then why is it taking the US military so long in Iraq? Well, they didn’t have Chitty.

© Brock Rizy 2010